If you’re relationship-focused & dating, read this
🧿The way a person behaves and treats you at the beginning of a [potential] relationship will tell you a lot about the kind of partner they’ll be with you. You might know this, but step back and ask yourself if you've REALLY been applying this?
🧐If you know what to look for at the beginning of a new romance, you’ll be able to better weed out the wrong partners, so you can save your energy for the right ones.
If you want a more substantial romance, this is your ticket to it
Research by Dr. Amir Levine, a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author, pinpointed five overlapping qualities to look for that create a strong foundation for a happy, secure relationship:
Availability
Predictability
Consistency
Responsiveness
Reliability
These qualities might feel at odds with the (controversial) idea that we need to be “hard to get” in order to be seen as desirable romantically. And don’t mistake this with masculine/feminine dynamics. You can very much balance those roles (if you're into that) with these 5 qualities.
🙌🏽So, how to apply this?
If you're app/online dating, you can apply this super early on. Let’s say you match with someone on a dating app. YAY! You text back and forth maybe three times, and then you're at the sage of planning a zoom or IRL hangout.
If this potential date starts acting wishy-washy in any way, or not "responsive" in a decent amount of time, that goes against the responsiveness quality. It doesn't have to be immediately...Give them a day, but if they were responding quickly before and now not at all when it comes to planning...
🚨 That's your warning sign. That's your intervention. Move on.
Listen, it’s harsh. Maybe that person is super busy or got in an accident or is sick. It happens. But believe it, if they are reliable, they will follow-up and tell you and apologize and then act much more proactive in meeting up to make up for it.
😉And this should go without saying, but if you’re expecting your date to behave with these qualities, you need to exhibit these yourself.
